The Insanity of Holiday Travel

My luggage is out and ready, the "what to pack" list has been printed, and visions of wintry outfits are dancing in my head...

That's right, we're getting ready to travel again.

I'd be lying if I said that I missed flying on our whoooole month off that was October. It was nice to have a few weekends where I wasn't running to the airport and back. But all good things must come to an end, and there is no getting out of Thanksgiving travel this year (although I urge everyone considering having children to birth around the holidays as it can get you out of ANYTHING from travel to awful office parties...)

So this weekend we will be on our way to Nashville to see the hubs' fam. It's Dash's first visit there and probably the first time Fin will really remember the trip, so that's good. My fabuloso MIL has promised to make her famous sausage balls. Mmmmm... Time with family is always good and it will be nice to see all the hubs' high school friends - whom I love as much as my very own high school friends. (Seriously, I looooove you guys! Have the booze ready!)

But then there's the getting there.

With the insane cost of air travel, we're going to have to milk the lap-baby for all it's worth (I mean, if someone offered you $500 to hold a baby for five hours, you'd do it, right?) On the surface, that doesn't sound so bad. I mean, Fin will have his own seat, so that means we three will have our own row. And the two boys don't take up a whole seat even together. But see, if you thought that, you must have only one child. Or no children. Because that would sign us up for a whole flights-worth of "MOM, DASH IS IN MYYYY SEAT! MOOOOOOOMMMM!"

That's once we're on the plane.

Before we get that far, I have to pack for four people and make sure we don't exceed our baggage limit or the weight limit of each bag. Also it means reeling in the hubs who has been known to try and pack every pair of shoes he owns while neglecting, oh I don't know, UNDERWEAR. Speaking of underwear, there is also deciding whether or not Fin should go in a pull-up or undies. (I'd be more comfortable with him in a pull-up but he'd probably throw a fit. He's been totally accident free for a few months, but I KNOW he will tell he that he has to go EMERGENCY as soon as the fasten seat belt sign comes on.) Then there's the fact that our flight leaves at 7am, which means I will get up just won't go to sleep the night before...

And did I mention that half of our family is on the do-not-fly list? Yeah. And yes, I did all of the things you're supposed to do to get them removed and that doesn't so much help. Which is why the boys have passports.

I know, I know. It's wonderful that we're able to make the trek East and spend our Thankful holiday with family.

But if you're on our flight, I apologize. Did I mention that Dash has just found his inner volume button. Seriously, I'm sorry...

And Here Is Your Visual...

...Too bad the slippers hide the orange toenails...

A Sunday Morning Image...

Fin is running around the house in a Star Wars tee, with a Superman Cape on, wearing his furry giraffe slippers (which are hiding his orange toenails - when I took the orange off mine, he demanded I paint his).

Just picture that and you should start the day off smiling. I asked Brooks to take a picture ;)

Why Did I Sign Up For This?

So, as I said before, I signed up to help with the giving tree for Fin's preschool/Church. Initially I agreed to do the label-printing at home (help I can do while in my undies at home = GOOD). Then my friend M said she was going to do the circle die-cutting. The only problem was that M never actually signed up. And I did. Thanks M! (Just kidding, you know I love you)

Also, as I've said before, I'm not really so "into" socializing with the other mom's. There are one or two I like, but I just have trouble relating to conversations that go "so I got the best deal on jeans at that store, I mean, I got 8 pairs of designer jeans for like $500!". Because first of all, who needs 8 pairs of jeans?!? I mean, I probably have 8 pairs, but I guarantee that no more than two are the same size. And I only keep the bigger sizes around until I can say for certain that there will be no more inhabitants who will cause my body to need said larger sizes.

So die-cutting was this morning. And it turns out that someone was sick, so it was only three mamas to cut, hole-punch, and cut and tie ribbon to 250 circles. Yeah. Mama #1 said only a few words, having an only-child daughter in one of the morning classes. Her presence is only worth noting because Mama #2 decided that she was going to yap yap yap at her the whole time.

Mama #2 strolled in with the most ADORABLE little boy. As it turns out, he was adopted from Guatemala. Mama #2 had wanted another child, and her then 8 year old son really wanted a brother so it was off to Guatemala they went. I was really task-oriented, so I added little to the conversation - actually I think I only said that I had two kids and that I thought little Guatemala was adorable.

Then Mama #1 asked how everyone made the adjustment etc. At this point Mama #2 said that while she loved little Guatemala, she regretted adopting him. WHAT?? I should also add that little Guatemala has been with her since he was a few months old and is now 4, so it's not like this is all so fresh and new. She elaborated that if she had been privy to a crystal ball, she would have decided that one was enough and that she never should have adopted....

OH MY GOD PEOPLE, WHO SAYS THAT ABOUT THEIR CHILD?!?!

Even on my WORST days when I'm calling Brooks begging him to come home, I have NEVER thought about not having either of my boys. Get that? I've never even THOUGHT about not having EITHER of them. Much less spewed it to other mothers I don't know. I wonder if she thought the fact that the child was adopted somehow made it more ok for her to feel that way and share it? Maybe it's my own family experience but, yeah, that made me even more irritated with the whole conversation.

Between Mamas #1 and #2 chatting it up and me trying to keep my jaw from dragging on my circles, we didn't even get them half done by our room-related cut off time. So I grabbed my share, tossed them in a bag and brought them home to finish before Mama #2 could finish her "shall we move the party..." question.

I'll just stick to the at home in underpants volunteering from now on thanks.

Why Yes, I Am Wearing Green Eyeshadow

As I sat down to blog, I ran through several options...

I could blog on that everymommy moment you have while at a childs' birthday party where another parent is telling you how many times their children have thrown up in the past 48 hours. I could blog about how the ninjanizer thought it was funny to copy Dash and crawl while dragging his head along the carpet - only to give himself a wicked case of carpet burn across his nose and forehead. I could blog about how I swear the ninjanizer is going through puberty and I'm thinking of employing my grandmothers' methods and telling him that his junk will fall off if he doesn't stop playing with it. Or was it that he would go blind? I forget. I may use both.

But instead, I think I'll blog about what I consider to be one of the top three things I totally dig about being a woman. Makeup. Now I have to think of the other two... I'll go with having babies and (EARMUFFS TO FAMILY) multiple orgasms.

Anyway, it all started with a conversation between me and the ninjanizer the other day...

(While watching Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold" during morning music time)

Fin: Mommy, I like her makeup. It's green. I think she's a Ninjanizer.

Mommy: Maybe mommy should try that...

Now, I should know, between the black fingernail polish and the horrid orange toenail polish that I've been rocking lately, allowing the ninjanizer to make my fashion decisions isn't necessarily a sound plan. I mean, this is a kid who wants to put on his furry giraffe print uggs as soon as he gets home and then won't allow them to be pried off of his sweaty little feet until he's passed out cold. But still I needed to get out of the all-browns-and-beiges-with-a-hint-of-black rut I've been in, so green seemed as good a color as any I guess.

We had a costume-themed birthday party today and I figured that this was a good time to try some experimental makeup...

Self-portrait. Ignore the wrinkles.

So what do you think? I think it turned out pretty neat. I think I might try all blues tomorrow. Of course, that is if the kids will give me more than two seconds of peace in the morning!