Finally, I post...

You've probably heard some rumors (what, Maggie was at a bar and NOT drinking? Something's up...)Yes it's true! Come August, we parents will be outnumbered here. We're still getting over our shock (and our stomach flu) but looking at our (no longer hurling) perfect children, we're excited for what the future holds for us. At least this explains my incurable desire to correct all children everywhere as well as my inability to drive, well, anything lately.

And with this announcement, I bring you....

Top ten things NOT to say when your friend tells you she's pregnant...

(And some answers)

1) Again?

(Yes? No, I just put the last one back? Why is that funny?)

2) Did you do this on purpose?
(That's a rude question. Or, do I look crazy? Depending on when asked.)

3) You know how this happens, right?

(Why this ever comes out of anyone's mouth is a mystery to me.)

4) Oh, you want a girl don't you?
(No, why does everyone assume that? I loves me some boys.)

5) Wow, do you know you'll have 3 kids 3 and under?

(Yes. Being pregnant three times in as many years has NOT taken away my ability to do simple math.)

6) I thought I saw a tummy!

(After your first you show faster. Or, F*$#k Off. Depending when heard.)

7) Where are you going to put the kid?

(We're not giving up the office so don't ask. Fin and Dash will draw strawls and loser shares a room. Note that this will be rigged. Best sleepers must bunk up.)

8) You're due in August? Wow, you're in for a long hot summer!

(Um, yeah, but last time I checked, it's not really any hotter just because you're pregnant. I'm looking forward to having an excuse for the excessive sweating that triple digits bring.)

9) So is three it or are you just going to keep going?

(Never ask a pregnant woman about her future childbearing plans. You won't get an accurate answer.)

10) Better you than me!

(I couldn't agree with you more.)

Bad Driver. Ratted Out By Kids.

*Fin: Daddy, Mommy had an accident today...

Hubs: WHAT?

Mom: (sigh, keeping expletives to myself)In the grocery store. With a shopping cart.

Hubs: Did you hit someone?

Mom: Uh huh.

Hubs: Hard?

Mom: Uh huh.

Hubs: With one of those giant double carts?

Mom: Yes, (defeat) and it was full. And I was going fast. And the guy I hit was pushing a walker. And I knocked his basket off of the little walker shelf and all over the floor...But he said he was ok and I helped him pick it all up...

Apparently, I shouldn't be allowed to push or drive anything. And yes, it was that kind of day.

*Still SO not the post I want to write, but I have actual real WORK to do tonight so it will have to wait :)

Resolutions Smesolutions

I have a post that I so badly want to write, but I need ooonnnee more thing to fall into place before I'm allowed to. Which is hard because that post is ALL that I want to write. And I promised the nice ad folks at BlogHer that I would post at least weekly. Never mind that I said I would make it interesting. Alas you are stuck with this rant for quasi rant/ call for assistance for now...

I HATE New Year's Resolutions.

The whole concept that one day of the calendar is a better day to change something than any other day is s-t-u-p-i-d.

(I have to spell s-t-u-p-i-d now because Fin says it's a bad word and people who say it will go to jail. He has a long list of these allegedly bad words - b-u-t-t is another one - and I have NO idea where he got the idea that you go to jail, but whatever works right?)

Anyway, I also don't like being left out. So the fact that everyone I know is making these resolutions makes me feel obligated to make one as well. So I was trying to come up with some ideas...

Lose Weight? So over that one. Ditto Eat Healthier or Exercise More. Curse less? I gave that up when Fin became a parrot, which is good since he's now evolved into the language police. Like his mama, he has no shame to correct strangers either. hehe.

So what to do? My house couldn't be cleaner. I think I do a good job of entertaining my wee beasties. I'd like to go to Church more often, but it's hard to come home feeling full of the Holy Spirit when all you want to do is scream at the kids for their poor behavior. I think I'm pretty nice to my mom. There's nothing about my life right now that I'd really like to change. And yes, I know that probably makes me pretty lucky so don't tell me to be more appreciative. My car does need an oil change but I don't think that counts. I really would like to cook more, and I actually thought of starting that tonight but then Brooks was in traffic and didn't get home till 8:30 so any dinner would have been totaled.

Anyone have any bright ideas? I don't feel bound by dates, but I feel like I should come up with something soon. Then again, maybe you can just start helping me think of something to give up for lent :)

A HS Flashback

Sorry for the lack of posts - but I have 300 pics to go through from our Christmas adventures. I promise a big post soon - and I promise it will be interesting! Meanwhile, here are some pics from the Visi 96'ers get together in DC after Christmas...

Happy Birthday Moni!

Happy Birthday Lady! You're the sister I never had (which is probably good since we never had to fight over clothes and boyfriends...) I hope you have a wonderful day!!