Ultrasound Joy

So I already said a little, and you can see the pictures, but I had a little more I wanted to get off my belly about today.

At my Dr. appointment two weeks ago, I was told that I was measuring behind. Very behind. An ultrasound was immediately ordered and my NP was content to assure me that my dates were just off. But for there to be more than a two-week disparity in my dates was impossible. Plainly, it would mean that I got a positive test the day I conceived, not to mention some pretty hearty little swimmers. Pretty much everyone I shared this concern with asked why I didn't argue that point. Well, see, I had Dash with me because I thought it was going to be a here's-your-cup-here's-your-weight-out-the-door visit. I didn't realize that they now do mandatory pap-smears on the first OB visit. I also didn't realize that taking my clothes of and putting my feet in stirrups was going to send Dash into orbit. However, I do now realize that - in hindsight - having to endure a pap and an internal exam while playing patty cake with the 15 month-old who is straddling your chest is pretty funny.

As you can guess, I was just in a hurry to get out of there.

But then, I had to think about the possibilities. And oh my readers, the internet is not your friend on such a mission. Not to mention that there are too many women in the"August 2009 Expecting Club" on iVillage (keep your comments to yourself) who have lost their pending deliveries recently. Yes, it's more likely that I would have had some indication that something was amiss, but it does happen silently as well. And despite my "urgent" stamp on my form, I still had to wait two weeks for the big day. Which is probably why this blog has been on the quiet side because that was a lot for me to sit on. And also, I'm a pessimist. So I'd rather think about fetal demise and be pleasantly surprised than stick my head in the proverbial sand and hope for the best.

But all that just made today that much sweeter.

I have vivid memories of enjoying my boys first swirls and kicks, but not so much of their ultrasounds. Especially ones that involved, well, the you-know-what camera. But that changed today. First of all I have to say that while I do like my NP and most of the Dr.'s, the nurses and techs are doofuses. The lady who read my pregnancy test results might as well have told me I had leprosy. For real. And the chick who did my last ultrasound with Dash was SO mean and wouldn't even let Brooks come in the room until I threw a fit. But this woman today? Pure awesome. She was CHIPPER as she brought us back a few minutes EARLY. Then she laughed at the joy on my face when she told me this was a happy abdominal ultrasound. And during? She assured us every few minutes that Snoopy was the cutest baby she'd ever seen. I mean, sure she probably tells everyone that, but this time it also happened to be true. And to see that little baby all moving and swatting and kicking? Amazing.

And all of a sudden, it became smack-you-in-the-face-real. In a few months I will have three children! Heaven help me...

Oh and I would be remiss if I didn't note my love and appreciation for Monika and Kindra who watched the gruesome twosome for us so that Brooks could join in the fun. You ladies are my heroes.

Meet Snoopy!

We had our first ultrasound today - and our first glimpse of Snoopy :) The technician took us right in, ON TIME! And she was super nice! He's measuring right between what I think my due date is and what my dr. thinks my due date is so that is good too!

Pleasant Surprises

Ok, so I felt bad being all gloom and doom with the negatives. I worked hard to come up with my list of positives only to realize that they're mostly more positives of post-pregnancy. But I'm going to go with it anyway...

1) Moving Babies - Sounds so cliche and until you really feel it, it totally IS cliche! But when your baby moves, I mean REALLY moves, for the first time it's all warm and fuzzy magic. For me it's the first time I feel genuinely connected to the growing babe. And when you get to share that with your baby daddy? Awesome. When it becomes visibly apparent to strangers (think like in the movie Alien)? Even better!

2) Eating - Sure it sucks to get all fat, but there is something cool about being able to turn to your husband at 11pm, loudly exclaim "CHEESEBURGER!" and have him actually respond. Without making you feel like a junkie. Of course, this is only in your first pregnancy. By your second he will have wised up and will remind you how pissy you will be to be left with that cheeseburger strapped to your thighs once the baby has vacated the premises. But I still remember the joy of it all the first time around. And yes, I admit, there were times I asked for things just to see if he'd actually go get it. Bless his heart, he always did.

3) Massages - This really could have just been labeled "guilt". Men will never be able to live down the fact that we're the ones who have to go through this while they get to go on with their lives and continue to sleep on their stomachs. My favorite use of this guilt (other than the aforementioned food collection) is massages. The hubs always manages to go above and beyond with this one and make me - for a few moments at least - glad to be pregnant.

4) Opting Out - Pregnancy gets you out of anything. I can't fly, I'm pregnant and don't feel well. Can't clean the bathroom, I'm pregnant and the fumes are bad. Can't make the party, I'm pregnant. Can't drive, I'm pregnant. Can't cook, I'm pregnant. Can't clean chinchilla cages, I'm pregnant. Can't watch my children, I'm pregnant. It can also be used as an excuse similar to "I was in college" when explaining questionable behavior.

5) Pregnant Parking Spaces - The hubs thinks that my enthusiasm over this particular aspect of pregnant life is a little irrational. I LOVE THE PREGNANT PARKING SPACE!!! I actually decide to go to one grocery store over another because one has a pregnant lady parking spot and the other doesn't. When it's free, I jump up and down like a crazy cheerleader watching her favorite team score. I pull in gleefully and jump out with exaggerated rubbing of my barely-there belly. When I was pregnant with Fin, the hubs and I went on a baby-buying binge and then to a favorite hot-spot for dinner. There was NO WHERE to park and then, lit like we were in a cheesy movie with angels singing in the background, was a super close pregnant lady spot. We were so excited to park there we even made unnecessary gestures at the crib strapped to our roof to passers-by. Indeed, losing this privilege is the saddest thing about not being pregnant. Just watch out if you think you can take one of those spots and you are NOT an expectant mother. Whilst pregnant with Dash, someone cut me off to take the pregnant lady spot, only to step out of the car as a LARGE MAN. I yelled at him and then shamelessly ratted him out to the grocery store manager who I'm sure took immediate action (yeah, right).

6) Baby Love - This is a duh, but really you just don't get it until you live it. And for me it wasn't so much immediate. I can actually remember looking at my boys on day 1 and worrying that I just didn't know them so how could I love them. But somewhere around day 3 you find yourself looking into their increasingly alert eyes and it hits you like a jackhammer. You're just overflowing with love for this needy little bundle. For me it comes pouring out my eyeballs and makes the hubs giggle that I was worried about knowing them.

7) Baby Daddy Love - I never considered it, but of course it makes total sense. I didn't think I could love the hubs more than I did on our wedding day (or on the day he proposed, etc), but something happens when you, oh, bring a LIFE into the world together. I was blown away by the sight of the hubs holding our children for the first time. And that love grew with every diaper he changed and every swaddle he crafted. And trust me when I tell you that he is the Swaddle Ninja. Our kids were always the snuggliest little burrito babies and very rarely escaped (and as mamas know, once they do it's only a matter of time before they wake themselves up by dislodging their pacifier or smacking themselves in the face). It was a wonderful feeling to be so in love with him again.

8) Sibling Love - Sure there will be plenty of times when the big one bites the little one for no reason, or pushes him over when he's learning to walk, or commits countless other undesirable crimes against his new sibling, but overall, it's pretty sweet. I'll never forget the first time Fin met Dash. Brooks brought him to the hospital the morning after Dash was born. He was sweet, quiet, loving and gentile. Which is saying alot for a child of 22 mos. He sat on the bed with me and stroked Dash's head and planted more kisses on him than I could count. The love fest continues and even as I have to break up a zillion fights a day, there's no doubt that these two dudes are best buds. Dash hates it when Fin's naps stretch out longer than his own and get's insanely excited when it's time to pick Fin up from school. Fin loves teaching his brother new things and is always full of encouragement. Watching them enjoy growing together is one of the sweetest sights in the world.

9) Sleep - I know, it's awful to try and sleep while you're pregnant. And people will always tell you, "oh, get as much sleep as you can now because once that baby comes..." This no longer scares me. Why? Because once the baby comes, sleep becomes a totally different animal. The second that baby closes it's eyes, I'm OUT! And it's not just like I'm sleeping. It's like I'm dead. And even if the baby only sleeps for an hour, it's enough. Or at least it's enough to get you through the hour it takes to feed and change the baby and get him back to sleep before you can die once again. That's a sleep I'll take over the miserable pregnant lady sleep ANY day.

10) The Baby - Total cop out, I know. I have pregnant brain but also the OCD desire to see this list end in a nice round number. So I'm using it. The baby. I mean, right, you know that's how this thing ends, but then you HAVE one. You're a MOM (or a DAD). And you'll look at that other list, laugh at it's accuracy, and how you would do it all over again. And hopefully you will :)

Oh Marshalls, How I Love You

I love Marshalls. Especially on Tuesdays. After dropping Fin off at School, I take Dash out for coffee and bagels and then on to MyGym. That leaves us a little more than an hour before we have to pick up Fin, and Marshalls is the perfect place to kill that time since it's right next to both MyGym and School. This week Dash was particularly well behaved and I set out to the toy section to reward his good behavior. Marshalls didn't let me down. For a mere $2, I found this treasure...

I'm still not sure what it is. A computer virus catcher? Sure, whatever you say. But MAN does Dash love it...

Rude Surprises

Since I have more than a few buds who are getting baby-ready, and also because I don't want to forget any of this in years to come, I decided to make a list of what I think are the rudest surprises that pregnancy has thrust upon me...

1) Extra Junk In My Trunk

Yes, ass growth. I know where babies grow. SO WHAT'S UP WITH YOU HINEY?? Before I had Fin, I heard someone say that they had worn their lowrise jeans their whole pregnancy as they fell just below the belly. With each pregnancy, I have managed to outgrow my pants far faster than my morning sickness. Even my mother, who is nothing if not an honest woman, remarked (while pregnant with Dash) that she didn't think it was possible for a butt to get that large. I've got a call in to Kim Kardashian to find out where she gets her pants.

2) Being Violated
As a woman becoming a mother, you will inevitably have that vision of the first time you see your child - at least on the small screen. Your husband will be holding your hand while your perfect belly is covered in goo that makes you giggle because it's cold. And then on the screen appears your teeny wiggling angel. Ahhh pure magic. But that's SOOO not what happens. Instead you are introduced to what I have heard referred to as the "dildo cam". And instead of your belly, the goo goes...well, somewhere else. Hopefully your husband isn't too horrified by witnessing you violated in such a way and is still able to enjoy the experience. Heh, right. But don't worry, you will experience similar uncomfortable situations throughout the coming months.

3) Weight Gain
Related to the "junk" referenced above, this probably sounds like a stupid thing to be surprised by. With Fin, I ate for two. Or four. It wasn't pretty. But I learned that lesson, and with Dash I scaled wayyy back (and stayed clear of McDonalds). Honestly, other than helping with water retention, it didn't make that much of a difference in poundage. Apparently my metabolism shuts down before I can even find a stick to pee on. I've heard you're only supposed to gain 25-35 lbs, but I honestly think I could eat 1000 calories a day and gain more. I'm ok with that. I've lost it all and then some each time, but it would sure be nice if my Dr.'s could take notice of that fact and leave me the heck alone.

4) Insomnia
No, I'm not talking about the kind that comes at the end where you're as big as a house and it's no small wonder that you can't find a comfortable position to save your life. Or the part in the middle where your bladder develops a four hour shelf life. I'm always surprised by the insomnia that meets me in the beginning. I fall asleep like a baby. Or a mother who has taken care of two babies all day. But then, sometime around 2am, it all comes to a screeching halt. I am wide awake. I stare at the ceiling. I calculate how much time I have left before someone wakes up and permanently puts an end to my hopes of falling back into a blissful slumber. And although Tylenol PM is acceptable to take, I don't think every night counts.

5) Pain.
I know, duh, right? But no, you don't know. Until you're lying in a bed actually contemplating how you could get across the room, through your husband and the nurses, so that you could HURL YOURSELF out the window onto the ground below just to end the pain, you don't know. I can clearly remember thinking that I could probably do it and land on my back and Fin would be ok. I also have to note that this was when induced. Dash's birth hurt too, but no where near as much.

6) Hospital Release
This is really just with your firstborn, but holy mother, is anyone prepared for that moment where they cut off the little baby low-jack and shoo you all out the door? I know I wasn't! I kept feeling like I was walking out of a store with an armful and without paying the bill (you know, like the Ikea commercial where the woman is yelling to her husband to "start the car!", just like that). Wait, no one's going to check our car and make sure we have a car seat? No one's going to follow us home and make sure we're not total lunatics who are about to screw this child up before he hits the two day mark? I felt more prepared when we adopted a dog then when we took home a baby. And I even WATCHED all the on demand "how to" movies in my hospital room!

7) More Pain

I know, duh again. I've heard plenty of times that the "afterpains" with a second child are just as painful as contractions. And YES! Why is there no epidural for that business!! And just to add insult to injury, or I guess more injury to injury, they're strongest when you're breastfeeding. More on that later.

8) Post-partum Physique
Dude, I totally get why there are no mirrors in recovery rooms. Once we were home and I caught my first glimpse, I actually had to laugh. I mean, who replaced all the mirrors in my dressing area with stuff they stole from a fun house? No one can really look like that. Can they? Oh GOD! But on the nice side, it was also shocking how quickly things went back to at least somewhat resemble where they used to be. I sometimes wish I had actually taken pictures just to document the fact that I'm not crazy or vain, it really was that awful. Guess there's always this time though, right?

9) Breastfeeding
I actually have a close friend who thinks you're already a bad mother if you elect not to breastfeed. I totally CANNOT WAIT till she has a baby! A Womanly Art? HA! A beautiful moment between mother and child? Yes, well, as much as painful bloody nipples can mean love and beauty. When you've just been through the ringer of birth, it just seems so unfair to then have to face the trails of breastfeeding. Bleeding cracked nipples. Mastitis. Thrush. Engorgement. And did I mention the bloody nipples? And please, don't bother telling me I was doing it wrong. I wasn't. It was "fine" after my body had a week or two to adjust, but damn! Now I have to say that my children were both nursed almost to the year mark, and they're smart and rarely ill. For fear that I would have a less intelligent, sickly baby I will nurse Snoopy. But I won't like it.

10) Mental Impairment
I totally had a great #10 in my head. At 2am last night. And now it's gone. Because I'm pregnant and have the memory of a goldfish. As well as no ability to operate heavy machinery. Or do anything that even remotely requires grace or balance. Or finish a sentence. Or a thought.

I'm working on a list of pleasant surprises. It's taking longer...