A Shotgun Blast? A Rifle Range? Are You Sure?

Ok, so I really wasn't going to blog on this, but I keep making myself laugh about it so dammit I have to!

So this isn't the funny part, just background. I've been having issues with my hearing for the past few years. I'd just wake up one day totally or partially deaf in my right ear. When it was partially deaf, that was irritating because I'd still hear certain frequencies super loud, but voices soft (like at the grocery store, the cooler whurring would be deafening but the checkout lady inaudible). When it was totally out, well, it was a bummer not to be able to use my blue tooth, but other than that it didn't bother me too much. Then about a year ago the ringing started. Well that bothered the SHIT out of me and kept me up at night. Which, you know since I have nothing to do all day, was no big deal. RIGHT. So in to the Dr. I went. And after a battery, and I mean a battery, of tests, the consensus is Minears disease. The Dr. happily used the words "slow progressing" and "mild" so that's all good, and really if I had to face the possibility of losing one of my senses, that would be the one. I mean, smell, taste, vision, all way more important if you ask me. So don't you cry for me Argentina because with this crew there are plenty of days when I think this might be a gift ;)

Anyway, so bringing the funny. I had a follow-up yesterday and I have permanent loss in my right ear. Sorry, again, that wasn't the funny part. Here it comes...

Dr.: So, you've never had a shotgun go off next to that ear, or you know, like done any shooting range or rifelry stuffs?

Me: (trying not to laugh) Um, no.

Dr.: And you've never had directed radiation or chemotherapy on that ear?

Me: (trying harder) No.

Dr.: Are you sure?

Me: (failing) Yes, I'm pretty sure...

Me Wanting To Say: Oh, I almost forgot the time that I had a shotgun go off in my ear while getting radiation for the cancer I forgot I had.

I mean, really, who would forget ANY of those things?? Maybe it was the skepticism in his face when he asked if I was sure? Maybe it's the odd combination of cancer and guns? Or me wondering which of those he thought would be more forgettable? Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and have a warped sense of humor? This exchange has had me laughing for two days.

Call Me Debbie, Debbie Downer...

It's a sad day in the blogsphere today, for we have lost one of our own.

Lisa, you, your strength, and your humor will be missed.

And if you're of the praying sort, send some to her family. And if you're not, do it anyway please.

And...the Belly!

Ok, I totally should have titled that "the hiney". Heh. It wasn't till I looked at these right next to eachother that I realized that I think there's more difference in the back then in the front. I confronted the hubs to get his opinion. He told me I was being silly, it must have just been the pants. I told him that he was making me feel like I was being crazy. He told me he likes the current size of my derriere. And yes, just ANOTHER reason I married him. So, here we go...

5 Week Belly - Otherwise known as "no belly". Don't mind Dash on my leg. He's always there anyway. These were my favorite skinny jeans. Not as in skinny cut, but the smallest size in existence in my closet. Once upon a time they were known as "goal jeans". It was with a great deal of sadness that I relegated them back to that status in the back of the shelf. But I wore them every day of week 5 until my muffin top runneth over and it was time to say goodbye...

11 Week Belly - Growing belly(...and hiney) This was the first week that I sort of "popped" a little...

And 14 Week Belly - (aka: last Thursday) And bootie. Definitely getting bigger. Still able to wear most of my pre-preggo clothes. I'm really hoping I can stave off the jump to maternity as long as possible. It's so funny how with your first you can't wait to show and wear maternity stuffs and with your third? Well, if you never see another elastic waist or belly panel it will be too soon :)

Octomom Loses It, Takes Kids to Nebraska & Leaves Them

Ok, not really, but these are the things I think about when it's 3am and I'm staring at the ceiling wishing I could just sleep. But seriously? I mean I have days where my two drive me over the edge...But anyway, that's all I'm going to say about that.

Things are going about as well as can be expected for someone who is seriously allergic to pregnancy. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat - 150BPM - this week (and by me, I mean me and Dash who was basically sitting on my head as that was the only way I could keep him quiet enough for the NP to hear the heartbeat) and I scheduled the BIG ultrasound for April 2. I'll be counting down the days as I can't WAIT to find out all about this little monster who is torturing me precious babe.

BUT I do have a few things to bitch about - come on, you know you were waiting for it! Let me first say that I think I'm finally done with the nausea. Thank GOD. But damn, I'm TIRED! I mean, seriously tired. Not just I-have-two-toddlers tired. I feel like I could sleep for days and not feel rested. And that's the worst thing - I can't sleep! You know how you feel on moving day? You know, when you've packed boxes, packed a car, unpacked a car, painted a room and you're finally in bed. When your whole body aches and you wish someone would rub muscles that you never even knew existed? I feel like that EVERY night. I don't remember feeling so crummy this early on with Fin or Dash. As a matter of fact, I don't really remember feeling this bad muscle-wise at the end. I'm also having these weird charlie horses in my upper arms that make it impossible to get at all comfortable. Even my beloved Tylenol PM seems to be waning in it's helpfulness. I'm still waking up at 3am and watching the clock until the kids get up.

And yet, it's the weekend and the hubs is home and taking the brunt of the kids. And all the poopy diapers which makes me love him more than I thought possible. And we have plenty to look forward to. My mother is visiting in a few weeks and has demanded that we go out to dinner. When I told him I'd rather do a 3am Denny's run, he was all for it (yet another reason he is my soul mate). I mean, you can always get a sitter for dinner, but it's not so practical to call one up to come over at that hour, right? And since this will be the last of the little Martins, I think some late-night indulgence is definitely in order. Of course, this attitude could be stemming from the fact that I had to try on three pairs of pants this afternoon to find one that fit. Ok, that's a half-truth. They all "fit", but we were going to lunch so I needed a pair that would still fit after lunch. So now, I surrender to the fat pants. Once I hit maternity, I'm totally cutting lose and buying some twinkies.

Where I'm From*

I am from warm summer nights, waiting for the ice cream man, when mom rings the bell and it's time to come in. From jumping off the pier, avoiding jellyfish and biting flies, fishing, corn on the cob and the smell of old bay and fresh blue crabs on the porch, and illegal fireworks after dark.

I am from raking the leaves just to jump in the pile while fearing that there may be bugs inside. From being excited about back to school, crisp new uniforms and questionable lunches. From birthday sleepover parties, do your homework first, and family dinner night.

I am from cold winter mornings, praying for snow days and wearing sweatpants under my skirt. From large family Christmases filled with cookies and presents, fires in the evening, boggle and watching movies together. From sledding and take-your-snowy-clothes-off-in-the-basement days and hot chocolate with extra marshmallows to warm you up afterward.

I am from welcoming spring, wishing I could swim, and dusting off summer dresses at the first sign of thaw. From red rover, capture the flag and freeze tag until it was dark enough to catch fireflies in jars. I am from letting them go.

I am from strong women and secure men, till-death-do-us-part marriages and children are blessings. From clean houses, education is important and raising children is a job.

Where are you from?

*You know that irritating 25 things on Facebook? This is kinda one of those. Sorry.