A Question

I've been watching the Olympics this week and one of my favorite things is hearing the back-stories of the athletes. I love hearing how they got to be there. But it also made me think...

Have you ever been asked "if you could have one superpower, what would it be?" What about "If you had one question to ask God, what would it be?" I've never had a good answer for either of those. I just never felt inspired to want to know or do anything that seriously. I'm just lazy like that. But now I think I do have an answer. If I could ask God one question, it would be "what could I have been?" I suppose if you aren't inclined to go the religious route, you could just as easily ask for a superpower that would allow you to see your alternate life paths.

I don't mean that I'm not totally stoked to be where I am. And before I even start down this train of thought, I have to say that there are some things I would never change - namely my husband and my kids. I never even question any of my dating decisions because I know that every choice and every mistake led me to Woob. And I don't question my boys. Not for a second. The very existence of Kellan, who was quite the surprise, is a testament to the notion that there is often a larger plan than you can imagine. I can't fathom a life without these boys or any roads that didn't end with me as their mother.

But I do wonder about other things. The Olympics have made me wonder if there's anything I would have been that good at. I know that all of these athletes have worked their hineys off to be there, but ability obviously comes into play as well. And so I wonder. If I had found something, and been passionate about it, is there anything I could have done that well? Do I have any special talents that I don't know about? I mean, I've never tried bobsledding - I could be totally awesome at it right? What about curling. I mean, if a pregnant chick can do it, I bet I could.

What do you think you could have been?

The Story of A Rat

It was Halloween of 2007. I was very large and pregnant with Dash and that made me more determined to make the holiday special for Finley. As such I also had that crazy pre-birth energy spurt to do just that. We made several trips to the pumpkin patch and took advantage of every fun activity it had to offer.

Maybe if just stay on this hayride all day, I'll go into labor.

We also decorated the house.


Well, mostly Brooks decorated the house. But I added the rat. I found it at Michael's and it looked seriously real. In fact, before it graced our porch we surprised our favorite neighbors by leaving him perched on their trash can. Really, we're awesome to live near, I swear. So anyway, once the house was appropriately cob-webbed and pumpkin-ed out, I dropped the rat on the front porch. Yeah, that's right, I was LARGE. So I dropped it. And it landed. And we laughed good and long. The haphazard placement just added to the authenticity and it looked just like a sad rat corpse. It was awesome.

An approximation of the never-documented rat

Then Dash was born. And we slipped into the routine of life with a new baby. Which is code for I stopped venturing outside the house. Our Halloween decorations remained in place an embarassingly long while. But we had an excuse, right?

Welcome Dashel!

But we finally did take the webs down, and we tossed out the pumpkins. And we meant to stow the rat for next year, really we did. But then the longer we left the rat out, the funnier it was. Watching people come to the door and scream and freak out was fantastic. The longer that the rat was out there, the more "weathered" it began to look. Even people who knew that the rat was fake would still do a double take. Delivery people would scream and then go over and kick him away.

And then it was Halloween again.

And we went to the Pumpkin Patch...

And then there were two...

And we decorated the house.

And the rat once again belonged...

And then Halloween was over. And we took the decorations down. Yet we couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of the rat. It had been too long and he made us laugh too much. Fin and Dash seemed to get just as much joy out of him. You could say he was family.

It sometimes seems that life with children can be measured with blinks and just like that it was Halloween again.

And we went to the Pumpkin Patch...


And there was a new addition again!

Welcome Kellan!

And we decorated the house. And the rat was there...

Only known photo of the rat.

And once again, it seemed a criminal to put him away. So he stayed. This year we even joked about gifting him with antlers for Christmas. He frightened more delivery people. And our doorbell stopped working which made us laugh even harder at anyone's attempt to breach our porch. Packages were often left on the bottom stair. And then came a sad day. I walked out front to see this...

The scene of the crime.

That's right. A sad empty porch. No rat to be seen. I called Brooks right away. Indignant that someone would STEAL our rat, he combed the bushes and the yard. But to no avail. Our rat was gone. Where did he go? Did he get scooped up by that cat who sometimes leaves real, actual rat noses on our back porch? Did a delivery guy finally get fed up? Did the trash man decide to do us a favor? I'm afraid I'll never know.

As you can see, this rat had been through a lot with us. He'd seen the birth of two children and watched all three of our boys grow. His absence would be felt. Ok, so maybe that's a little dramatic, but also, I was PISSED that someone would steal our FAKE PET RAT!

Well, it turns out that it's near IMPOSSIBLE to find a rat of this sort after the Halloween season has ended. I looked high and low. Rubber rats were a dime a dozen, but that would be a totally lame replacement. The only interesting thing I managed to find was a similarly designed skunk. And while I found this idea hilarious, I was informed by a very angry Dash - "No skunk! New rat!" For a child who isn't overly opinionated, this spoke volumes. So I went to the one place I hadn't tried. Ebay.

And I found this. Well, these.

A rat for each boy!

And I will have NO shame debuting them in February. Maybe we'll name one cupid.

The Art of Parenting

Fin's parent teacher conference was this week. And to say that I was nervous would be an understatement. The main purpose of this meeting was to determine kindergarten readiness and we've already decided to hold Fin back so I really had no concerns there. (FYI for all my east-coast peeps, the CA school cut-off is Dec 2 and since Fin's birthday is Dec 1 it would make him literally the youngest in his class.) Being the good husband and father that he is, Brooks assured me that I had nothing to worry about and everything would go just fine. But then it hit me that this was for me what a performance review at work would be for him.

Parenting is much like trying to paint a beautiful piece of art. Blindfolded. And often with one hand behind your back. Or holding a screaming baby. Or changing a toddlers diaper. And going to a conference like this, having your child evaluated by a professional who likely gets to see a very different version of your child, is like taking that blindfold off. A brief glimpse of your progress so far. And if you're lucky, you look at your painting and are pleased to see that shapes and colors appear on paper much like they did in your head. And for a moment, you think maybe, maybe you can do this parenting gig after all.

Man are we lucky.

Sure, I heard that Fin needs to work on his lowercase "e's" (man, lowercase e is TOUGH!). But I also heard that he is a good friend, a good student, and a joy to have in the classroom. And really, that's all any parent wants to hear. That their child is nice and lovable and a joy to have around. We can work on his e's :)

Also much like that painting, there will be surprises. Here was mine.

Fin's teacher was telling me how funny he is at snack time with his routine. It's a longstanding joke that Fin is the slowest eater on the planet and will often come home with the majority of his snack untouched. It was no surprise to hear that his routine begins with eating whatever little chocolate treat I put in his snack (a plane, a soccer ball or if I'm out of little surprise chocolates, a Hershey kiss). Then, before he moves on to whatever else he has, he pulls a picture out of his lunchbox to share. A picture? I ask, not knowing that he even HAD a picture in there. Oh, I was sure you knew, we thought you were replacing it regularly since it stayed so nice despite the handling. No, I had no idea. Yes, he gets out the picture and passes it around. Every day. And every day we expect the other children to tell him that they don't want to see it again and yet every day they get just as excited as the day before. And the photo is passed around and shared and they all laugh before moving on to finishing their snack.

What picture? This one. It went to school last year for share day. And I had no idea where it had gone. Until yesterday.

And I delight in my painting and it's surprises, happy to put the blindfold on and get back to work.

P.S. I didn't mention this to Fin. I felt like talking about it might just dampen the magic a bit. So pretend I never told you ;)

I Heart Faces * Texture Challenge

This week's challenge at I Heart Faces was texture use. I've never entered before, but I just happened to get this snap over the weekend and it's the first time I've used a texture in a loooong time. Kell was so snuggly while mama did the cleaning that he passed out. I had to look in the mirror to see why he was so quiet, then I had to grab my camera to capture it.

Dear Dog Owners

I know you love your dog. I get it. And I know you may think of your dog as your child. But really? Your dog is NOT a child. And there are some places that your dog should not go. In fact, there are places I don't take my children. I don't take my baby to the movies. In fact, I don't take my kids to any movie that starts after 8pm or is wildly inappropriate. And I don't take my kids to nice restaurants for dinner, even though they are extremely well behaved. I respect people without children and the fact that there are times and places where the presence of children might be seen as slightly undesirable or disruptive. Here's where it comes back to you dog owners.

There are some places that it's just plain rude to tote your pooch.

First, and largest, I don't want to see your dog in a grocery store or a restaurant. Yes you people with your dog at Whole Foods yesterday, I'm talking to you. When I buy groceries, I do NOT want to fight your dog over the potatoes. I wouldn't let my own dog near my foodstuffs (you know, if I had one). It's just unsanitary. And if you want to dine outside of a family style restaurant, then I have no beef with you. But inside? Never. And I don't care how nice or well behaved your dog is. I don't care if they stay in your purse the whole time. It's gross.

Now let's talk about transportation. I understand that your animals need to get places. They do in fact have car seats for dogs. Get one. Or put them in a kennel in the back. Yes, man with the dog in his lap who almost killed me last month, I'm talking to you. If cell phones are enough of a distraction to be illegal, then what the hell makes you think having a moving animal struggling to get to the window across your lap is a good idea? When traveling larger distance, I understand the need to take your small dog on board an airplane. Now if your dog has to be smashed and bent into the carrier, he's too big to be on the plane. That means if you have to open the carrier for your animal to breathe as soon as you get on the plane, he should not be in the main cabin. Now if you bought him his own seat, go for it and unload him. Also, if your dog is a nervous flyer, drug him. If it's good enough to do to people and children, it's good enough for your dog. Everyone will thank you for it.

Now let's talk clothing stores. Frequently, when perusing any cloth-like items on ebay or similar sites, the seller will specify "item comes from pet and smoke-free home". There's a reason for that. I don't smoke and I don't want my clothes to smell like smoke. And no one would dream these days of lighting up inside ANYWHERE in CA. So tell me why it's even in the realm of acceptability to take your dog in a store? And yes, you dog owners who take your pets to The Grove and allow them to prance through Anthropologie or Nordstrom, I'm talking to you. I understand it's a pretty area to walk around with your dog. But if you decide to bring him with you, then you forfeit the right to go into the shops. And please, don't tie your dog to an object outside the store either. Especially if your dog is less than friendly.

Really I love dogs, I do, but this had to be said...