Get Your Hiney Ready...

I'm large. I failed the GD test. I have low iron. And yesterday Fin told me that my belly was extra large...and "dirty"...WHAT!?! Knowing I had just showered, I had to see for myself. Do you know what he was talking about? My stretch marks. Thanks kid. I explained to him what they were, and with tears in his eyes he told me he didn't want me to have them. Yeah, me neither. I could complain for a few more paragraphs, but instead I'll post this. I read it on a message board and am now shamelessly stealing it...

Baby Eviction Notice

I am issuing 30 day notice for EVICTION. Tenant will have 30 days in which he can either gather his belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, he will be physically removed from the property.

He's being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made!

Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper AND lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances.

After 30 days from this day that he doesn’t comply with the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion.

Sincerely,
Your Landlord