Thursday, November 27, 2008

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What the Wii???

I loooove my Wii, loooove it. And when my mama bought me the Wii Fit for my birthday I was totally enthused. Woob was too. We Wii-Fitted until we went to bed complaining that our hips were still hula-hooping. Seriously, I had no idea how much of a workout that was! And I think I threw my shoulder out in the free-punch round of rhythmic boxing...

But the the enthusiasm waned a bit...that and it's kinda hard to move around the Wii Fit with a kid hanging on each leg.

(Note to mama friends who are thinking of investing - know that this is a naptime activity!)

I still try and Wii-Fit at least twice a week. This usually consists of me doing a few things and then supervising Fin ski jumping, soccer ball heading or penguin fishing. But when I fired up my Wii Fit yesterday I was met with an interesting exchange.

For those of you who have yet to be initiated into the world of Wii Fitting, let me enlighten you on some of the finer points...before you do anything it asks you to weigh in, tell your height etc. You're Mii is sized according to your BMI - which means Fin's Mii is a string bean compared to the rest of us. You are also asked to set goals on weight loss and fitness. Each time you fire it up, it wants you to re-weigh in so it can tell you how largely you're failing at reaching close you are to your goal. After completing the sign-in process, you can then chose your Wii Fitting activities.

Except that it didn't go like that today.

Today, instead of taking me to my activities menu, it asked me if I've seen Woobiiiii lately...

(Yes, the hubs is Woobiiiii, I'm Maggiiiii and Fin is Fiiiiin, we're THAT funny!)

So I clicked yes. The next screen sent me scrambling for my camera. I mean, I wouldn't believe you if you told me that this happened...

I was with Woobiiiii when he Wii-Fitted this weekend. So I know what the Wii Fit is getting at. I know when I'm being baited to out my husband for his Wii Fit failures. Love says click on "the same."
WHAT?!? I refuse to sell the hubs down the dietless river and you accuse me of not paying attention to him! Who was paying attention to him when I made the french onion dip? Or the homemade hot fudge sauce? I'm probably paying TOO much attention to him. At the same time, the dude does work with video game programming so I'm looking for the hidden camera he's set up. Then I get this...

First, now I know he's definitely not behind this one. Second, DID YOU JUST COMPARE MY HUSBAND TO A DOG?!?!

Note to self: Don't let the hubs on the Wii Fit this weekend. I don't want to know what it asks about me!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Insanity of Holiday Travel

My luggage is out and ready, the "what to pack" list has been printed, and visions of wintry outfits are dancing in my head...

That's right, we're getting ready to travel again.

I'd be lying if I said that I missed flying on our whoooole month off that was October. It was nice to have a few weekends where I wasn't running to the airport and back. But all good things must come to an end, and there is no getting out of Thanksgiving travel this year (although I urge everyone considering having children to birth around the holidays as it can get you out of ANYTHING from travel to awful office parties...)

So this weekend we will be on our way to Nashville to see the hubs' fam. It's Dash's first visit there and probably the first time Fin will really remember the trip, so that's good. My fabuloso MIL has promised to make her famous sausage balls. Mmmmm... Time with family is always good and it will be nice to see all the hubs' high school friends - whom I love as much as my very own high school friends. (Seriously, I looooove you guys! Have the booze ready!)

But then there's the getting there.

With the insane cost of air travel, we're going to have to milk the lap-baby for all it's worth (I mean, if someone offered you $500 to hold a baby for five hours, you'd do it, right?) On the surface, that doesn't sound so bad. I mean, Fin will have his own seat, so that means we three will have our own row. And the two boys don't take up a whole seat even together. But see, if you thought that, you must have only one child. Or no children. Because that would sign us up for a whole flights-worth of "MOM, DASH IS IN MYYYY SEAT! MOOOOOOOMMMM!"

That's once we're on the plane.

Before we get that far, I have to pack for four people and make sure we don't exceed our baggage limit or the weight limit of each bag. Also it means reeling in the hubs who has been known to try and pack every pair of shoes he owns while neglecting, oh I don't know, UNDERWEAR. Speaking of underwear, there is also deciding whether or not Fin should go in a pull-up or undies. (I'd be more comfortable with him in a pull-up but he'd probably throw a fit. He's been totally accident free for a few months, but I KNOW he will tell he that he has to go EMERGENCY as soon as the fasten seat belt sign comes on.) Then there's the fact that our flight leaves at 7am, which means I will get up just won't go to sleep the night before...

And did I mention that half of our family is on the do-not-fly list? Yeah. And yes, I did all of the things you're supposed to do to get them removed and that doesn't so much help. Which is why the boys have passports.

I know, I know. It's wonderful that we're able to make the trek East and spend our Thankful holiday with family.

But if you're on our flight, I apologize. Did I mention that Dash has just found his inner volume button. Seriously, I'm sorry...

Monday, November 17, 2008

And Here Is Your Visual...

...Too bad the slippers hide the orange toenails...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Sunday Morning Image...

Fin is running around the house in a Star Wars tee, with a Superman Cape on, wearing his furry giraffe slippers (which are hiding his orange toenails - when I took the orange off mine, he demanded I paint his).

Just picture that and you should start the day off smiling. I asked Brooks to take a picture ;)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Why Did I Sign Up For This?

So, as I said before, I signed up to help with the giving tree for Fin's preschool/Church. Initially I agreed to do the label-printing at home (help I can do while in my undies at home = GOOD). Then my friend M said she was going to do the circle die-cutting. The only problem was that M never actually signed up. And I did. Thanks M! (Just kidding, you know I love you)

Also, as I've said before, I'm not really so "into" socializing with the other mom's. There are one or two I like, but I just have trouble relating to conversations that go "so I got the best deal on jeans at that store, I mean, I got 8 pairs of designer jeans for like $500!". Because first of all, who needs 8 pairs of jeans?!? I mean, I probably have 8 pairs, but I guarantee that no more than two are the same size. And I only keep the bigger sizes around until I can say for certain that there will be no more inhabitants who will cause my body to need said larger sizes.

So die-cutting was this morning. And it turns out that someone was sick, so it was only three mamas to cut, hole-punch, and cut and tie ribbon to 250 circles. Yeah. Mama #1 said only a few words, having an only-child daughter in one of the morning classes. Her presence is only worth noting because Mama #2 decided that she was going to yap yap yap at her the whole time.

Mama #2 strolled in with the most ADORABLE little boy. As it turns out, he was adopted from Guatemala. Mama #2 had wanted another child, and her then 8 year old son really wanted a brother so it was off to Guatemala they went. I was really task-oriented, so I added little to the conversation - actually I think I only said that I had two kids and that I thought little Guatemala was adorable.

Then Mama #1 asked how everyone made the adjustment etc. At this point Mama #2 said that while she loved little Guatemala, she regretted adopting him. WHAT?? I should also add that little Guatemala has been with her since he was a few months old and is now 4, so it's not like this is all so fresh and new. She elaborated that if she had been privy to a crystal ball, she would have decided that one was enough and that she never should have adopted....


Even on my WORST days when I'm calling Brooks begging him to come home, I have NEVER thought about not having either of my boys. Get that? I've never even THOUGHT about not having EITHER of them. Much less spewed it to other mothers I don't know. I wonder if she thought the fact that the child was adopted somehow made it more ok for her to feel that way and share it? Maybe it's my own family experience but, yeah, that made me even more irritated with the whole conversation.

Between Mamas #1 and #2 chatting it up and me trying to keep my jaw from dragging on my circles, we didn't even get them half done by our room-related cut off time. So I grabbed my share, tossed them in a bag and brought them home to finish before Mama #2 could finish her "shall we move the party..." question.

I'll just stick to the at home in underpants volunteering from now on thanks.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Why Yes, I Am Wearing Green Eyeshadow

As I sat down to blog, I ran through several options...
I could blog on that everymommy moment you have while at a childs' birthday party where another parent is telling you how many times their children have thrown up in the past 48 hours. I could blog about how the ninjanizer thought it was funny to copy Dash and crawl while dragging his head along the carpet - only to give himself a wicked case of carpet burn across his nose and forehead. I could blog about how I swear the ninjanizer is going through puberty and I'm thinking of employing my grandmothers' methods and telling him that his junk will fall off if he doesn't stop playing with it. Or was it that he would go blind? I forget. I may use both.

But instead, I think I'll blog about what I consider to be one of the top three things I totally dig about being a woman. Makeup. Now I have to think of the other two... I'll go with having babies and (EARMUFFS TO FAMILY) multiple orgasms.

Anyway, it all started with a conversation between me and the ninjanizer the other day...

(While watching Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold" during morning music time)

Fin: Mommy, I like her makeup. It's green. I think she's a Ninjanizer.
Mommy: Maybe mommy should try that...

Now, I should know, between the black fingernail polish and the horrid orange toenail polish that I've been rocking lately, allowing the ninjanizer to make my fashion decisions isn't necessarily a sound plan. I mean, this is a kid who wants to put on his furry giraffe print uggs as soon as he gets home and then won't allow them to be pried off of his sweaty little feet until he's passed out cold. But still I needed to get out of the all-browns-and-beiges-with-a-hint-of-black rut I've been in, so green seemed as good a color as any I guess.

We had a costume-themed birthday party today and I figured that this was a good time to try some experimental makeup...

Self-portrait. Ignore the wrinkles.

So what do you think? I think it turned out pretty neat. I think I might try all blues tomorrow. Of course, that is if the kids will give me more than two seconds of peace in the morning!

Friday, November 07, 2008

The Ninjanizer's TV Viewing Habits

I have to start by saying that my kids don't watch a lot of TV. When the TV upstairs broke, that pretty much weaned us off of our biggest viewing times, in the early AM and before naps and bed. I enjoyed our few months without a bedroom TV and the kids and I started our day with music instead. I'm happy to say that the behemoth didn't change that much. Now we start our days with music videos instead.

(The only downside to that is that Fin is overly fond (read: obsessed) with the Britney Spears "Womanizer" video. Only he INSISTS that they're saying "Ninjanizer". So all day I hear "Ninjanizer, Ninjanizer, oh you're a Ninjanizer..." And no, he cannot explain to me what a Ninjanizer is although he seems to think he is one.)

Anyway, we don't watch a ton of TV. But with Brooks out of town this past week, I started putting movies on for them as a way to unwind before bed. I'm not big with censoring things for them. Fin loves Star Wars and will watch pretty much anything. He's never had a nightmare or really repeated any foul language.

(Although I would like to thank "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" for introducing the term "blockhead" and I could do without the attempts at "force choking" me when he's mad.)

One day a few weeks ago when we were watching "Oswald", there came an episode where his best friend, Henry, almost moved away. Fin was beside himself. I was almost unable to get him to calm down enough to watch the end of the show. He's a pretty sensitive kid.

Which should have been my first clue that he shouldn't watch Bambi.

In a fit of guilt over some of the more colorful things I have let him watch lately (I did distract him from watching when the alien jumped out of the dude's chest), I decided that we'd try and stick to some Disney movies. I gave him some options and he, of course, chose Bambi.

So I'd like to thank Disney for my son's panic over hunters and where Bambi's mother went.

I scanned my kids shelf. Nemo, Dumbo, Fox and Hound, Land before Time, Aristocats...I could go on and on. All these movies involve sinister plots (usually by people) to kill/eat/wear the animals. There is parental danger/death/abandonment left and right. And I should be worried about my kid watching Star Wars? Seriously WTF?? The only movies I have on the "safe side" side of the shelf are The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking and Labyrinth.

And a Pippi viewing results in a week of "running away" threats.

Thankfully Brooks is back at home. He's got some magic mojo going on that enables him to get the kids to sleep in the blink of an eye (Ninjanizer, Ninjanizer, yeah he's a Ninjanizer).

But we're going to watch Iron Man tonight anyway.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Um, Can I Get Some Family Time Please?

So I'm sitting in bed, letting Peter Pan babysit the kids (hey, it's better than Alien, which I let Fin watch last week) and having a little pity party for myself over being a single parent for a few days. Woob is again in Seattle, working hard, and majorly pissing me off for not being here when 1)Dash ate it outside and scraped up his face and hand 2)Dash peed before getting in the tub. All over the bathmat. and 3)Dash threw UP in the tub. While still in it. With Fin. And did I mention that Dash woke up at 2:30 and didn't go back to sleep. Like, yet. And then Fin was up at 6:30.


Needless to say, things just don't run smoothly around here with Woob out of town.

I was thinking about how my father never went on business trips and was always home for dinner - even if that meant that during tax season he had to go back to work afterwards. And it made me wonder, WTF has happened to family time?

I can't think of one guy I know who doesn't work late most nights - that 'late' may vary from not being home for dinner to not being home to kiss his lady goodnight. But I don't know anyone who makes it home for a 'family dinner'. And most of the working folks I know do have some travel.

Speaking of travel, WTF is up with business travel. Airfares are through the roof and buying them at last minute makes it that much worse. Why isn't everyone doing teleconferencing? I mean seriously that is SUCH a waste of money! But I digress...

I HATE business travel. But Woob, like most I'm sure, has to compete with co-workers who don't have significant others, or families, or kids. So he doesn't have the luxury of saying, no, I'm not going on that business trip. There's always another worker who will be happy to go and take the job. I totally get that. But man do I HATE business travel.

So when are we supposed to get in any family time? You have to just mark off one weekend day for chores and around-the-house stuff. So one weekend day is all that's left? And that's presuming that your children don't have any activities that eat that day too.

That's just not enough.

(Now imagine me jumping up and down and stomping my feet)

So how do you do it? How do you get in your family time? And how can we fix our culture to value that more and come up with a way for people to work condusive hours?

Off to put the kiddies to bed by myself (and again wonder why Woob can do it in minutes and I get sucked in to hours of snuggles, drinks, potty breaks and more snuggles...)