Monday, March 30, 2009

The Pregnant Lady Gets Busted

Ok, so I'm going to go ahead and start this by saying that I warned you. As a pregnant woman, I should have my drivers license suspended. Immediately. And then Brooks should get some kind of special leave to stay home with me all day so that he can take care of me and drive me around. I'm working on all that.

And I also need to remind you that I'm sometimes deaf. And that this past week, I seemed to be very deaf.

And finally, I have to say that I've NEVER been pulled over before. So if you're screaming that I'm an idiot who should have known what was up, know that much. Actually, I've only once even been IN a car that was pulled over. For "Brightin' Me". But that's a whole 'nother Oprah, right Emily?

So now, here is the whole story. And I'm sure it's one my kids will be telling and tormenting me with for years to come...

I spent the whole morning Friday cleaning house, washing sheets and packing for our Palm Springs weekend adventure. Also on my mind was the tax increase that will happen April 1 here in CA. On a hunch, I called the furniture store where We'd picked out Fin and Dash's new bed to see if they were running a special. Indeed they were! Since we were all packed and ready and Brooks was running late, I decided to head over there and order the beds so I could save some moolah.

(Wait, since Brooks was running late, can I blame him some too?)

We're in the car, headed over to the furniture store, driving down a nice straightaway, when I notice a cop behind me. And his lights are on. But they're not flashing. And I don't hear anything. What does that mean? I'm going the speed limit, so I carry on. A few seconds later I notice he's RIGHT UP ON ME, so I change lanes right. He follows. I'm now starting to be concerned that maybe he's after me. So I pull over one more right lane. He follows. Ok, I think he's definitely after me. I pull over into he next parking lot.

And that's when all hell breaks loose.

The next thing I know, he's pulled in fast, skidding and horizontally behind my car and is yelling over the intercom for me to get out of the car. I glance back at the kids - who clearly think this is awesome fun! - and get out of the car. HANDS ON THE HOOD NOW! I think I actually giggled because all I could think of was that someone with the same car must have done something BAD. And I mean please, a pregnant woman with two toddlers in the car is SUCH a threat?!?

Cop: "Ma'am, WHY DIDN'T YOU PULL OVER?!?!"

Ruh roh.

I'll spare you the rest of the conversation play-by-play as it was long, confusing and frequently interrupted by screams from the car (Mom, where are my sunglasses? Mom, I'm hungry? Mom, can we ride in the police car?). Apparently I was going a tad fast. As I learned on my drive home, the asshat officer was waiting right where the speed limit changes to nab people who miss it. But the bigger problem was that he had allegedly been following me, sirens blaring, yelling on the horn, for FIVE MINUTES. And he had asked me to pull over left. So all things considered, he had decided that I was "a runner". Sigh. A lengthy explanation of Minears disease and a google search from the cop car later, he told me he had to give me a speeding ticket since he had it on radar (which is totally a crapper because I was going the SAME DAMN SPEED as the person ahead of me and the one next to me, but I wasn't exactly in a position to argue).

So I am now the proud owner of my first speeding ticket.

Because I assumed that it was what you were SUPPOSED to do, I called my husband. He was simultaneously unamused and unsympathetic and intimated that the ticket could be the equivalent of our national debt. So I called my mom. I figured that if my generally kind husband took a tough love approach, maybe the universe was off and my tough love mother would be kind. Thankfully she was. And so I felt better. And when I reminded Brooks about his last traffic ticket and how I was not only nice but also did his helped him do online traffic school, he was nicer too. He just assumed that because I wasn't crying, I wasn't taking the situation seriously.

Which reminds me, why on possibly the only advantageous occasion, does the pregnant woman for once NOT cry. I mean, it was all I could do not to laugh out loud. Oops.

In the end, the boys got their bed for a great deal (I won't tell you how much I saved, but how does a grand sound?) and we had a fantastic weekend.

Since the ticket won't come close to the savings, I still won in the end, right?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

18 Weeks...How Did We Get So Far?

Snoopy and I had our regular appointment with the NP this morning. Looking good! We had a funny exchange, but for you to really grasp the humor you have to know a few things: English is not her first language and her accent is thick, she was my NP with Fin also so I feel that I know her well, and also she's totally adorable and generally very nice (not like Cranky McNastypants who was my NP with Dash!). Anyway, our conversation went like this:

NP: You're belly not so big for 18 weeks! Itty Bitty. (Glances at chart) OH WEIGHT GAIN LOTS! WHERE WEIGHT GO (checks my feet, looking for signs of the swelling that added at least 20 lbs to my pregnancy with Fin)?

Me: It's all in my HINEY!

NP: (Erupts in fit of giggles) Give some to baby, hiney not need it!

You're telling me lady!!

In other news, Snoopy has started really kicking me in earnest. It's an odd reminder of how real all this is and how quickly things have been moving...

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Little Brag

So a few weeks ago I broke down and bought a backdrop for the house. I found a good deal I couldn't pass up (let's not yet address how wrinkled and um, HUGE it is). But what I REALLY wanted was a backdrop with a rich damask pattern. Alas, those are well more than my budget allows. Sniffle. But I consider myself pretty resourceful, so I set out to make my photoshop of course! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Joy of Difference

I can vividly remember being pregnant with Dash and holding and snuggling Fin, trying to push away the dull ache that came with the knowledge that soon, very soon, this perfect little creature was going to have to share my attentions - and my heart. Like any mother expecting her second, I worried how it would be possible for me to love ANYONE as much as I loved Fin. I worried that I would resent Dash for taking so much of me away from Fin. I worried that Fin would suffer for this new addition, an addition that we had very much wanted and planned for to join our family. Because I was pregnant, and a mom, I worried and worried and worried...

And then Dash arrived. Instantly, the moment I looked into his little blue eyes, it was like my heart added a special chamber just for him. A separate piece of me, nestled up right where my love for Fin continues to grow. And just like that I had just as much love for Dash.

I can honestly say that I have never for a second resented Dash for the attention he diverted from Fin. Instead I love him all the more for the attention he has ADDED to Fin. Even in the early days when babies and toddlers looked to be the two most incompatible forces in the universe, I would get small previews into our future. The way a mother's heart melts when she sees one of her children, all on his own, make the other smile with joy. Little glimpses into the life where two boys became favorite playmates and the best of friends.

We're so there.

My new bliss is watching them both grow, together and apart, and finding myself ceaselessly amazed at the differences that become more apparent each day.

There are moments when I catch Fin doing something and suddenly I am my mother watching me. He carries so many shades of myself it is both exhilarating and terrifying all at once. When he focuses on accomplishing something, look out world because it will get done. He talks back and is constantly searching out new ways to challenge me. He is astonishingly quick witted and so incredibly stubborn that it often takes a village of experts to convince him that he might be wrong. He is all boy, rough and tumble, push and shove and yet he hates getting messy. He is strong and yet he is extremely sensitive. If someone falls or gets upset, he is often the first person rushing to their side and trying to hug away whatever ails them. While I can attribute 90% of his attitude and personality to my gene pool, he also has the most amazing imagination - and that is something that comes directly from his father. He is constantly inspiring me to think in new ways, and not just about Star Wars :) In so many ways I am forever grateful that he was my first because he has pushed me to grow in ways that only attempting to raise yourself can.

As much as I can see myself when I watch Fin, it is Brooks that I see when I watch Dash. Teething not withstanding, he is nearly always happy. He is calm, even tempered, and since birth has seemed to have a "zen" about him. He is an "old soul". He is creative, drawing with crayons when other children would be eating them and taking great delight in building the tallest block towers. He is incredibly gregarious and in his element when surrounded by as many other children as possible. When we drop Fin off at school, he sometimes looks at me, lost, and I feel sorry for him that he has to lose his comrade for that brief period. When given the opportunity to play with the children his age, he will largely ignore them in favor of Fin and his crew. I think if he were able to talk, he would assure you that he is in fact the same age as his brother and all his friends. And he holds his own as if that were the case, running just as fast, trying to push just as hard, and forever trying to pedal their tricycles and big wheels. I am torn between wishing for him to catch up and holding him back with all my power. Most amazingly, he shares his father's soothing touch. When he puts his hand on my shoulder (as he strangely often does) it holds the same steadying and calming effect as Brooks' hand always has. Of course it makes me wonder what woman will be lucky enough to someday benefit from it as I have. Seeing so much of his father in him makes me love him all the more.

And now we're about to grow again. To welcome another boy into the bunch. As Dash snuggled with me today, I did worry a bit how it will affect him to lose his status as the baby. I'm a mother, that's my job. But I'm also looking forward to the journey ahead. I can't wait to see what this little boy will add to our lives, how he will complement Fin and Dash and whose personality he will more closely resemble. Perhaps I'll find that he's more of a combination of us both. Maybe he'll be a whole new and unexpected version of us.

Most of all, I can't wait until that first time I catch Fin and Dash making him laugh, all by themselves.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Friday, March 06, 2009


Indeed! This August I will be a mama of three boys. I'm a tad speechless :)

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

A Shotgun Blast? A Rifle Range? Are You Sure?

Ok, so I really wasn't going to blog on this, but I keep making myself laugh about it so dammit I have to!

So this isn't the funny part, just background. I've been having issues with my hearing for the past few years. I'd just wake up one day totally or partially deaf in my right ear. When it was partially deaf, that was irritating because I'd still hear certain frequencies super loud, but voices soft (like at the grocery store, the cooler whurring would be deafening but the checkout lady inaudible). When it was totally out, well, it was a bummer not to be able to use my blue tooth, but other than that it didn't bother me too much. Then about a year ago the ringing started. Well that bothered the SHIT out of me and kept me up at night. Which, you know since I have nothing to do all day, was no big deal. RIGHT. So in to the Dr. I went. And after a battery, and I mean a battery, of tests, the consensus is Minears disease. The Dr. happily used the words "slow progressing" and "mild" so that's all good, and really if I had to face the possibility of losing one of my senses, that would be the one. I mean, smell, taste, vision, all way more important if you ask me. So don't you cry for me Argentina because with this crew there are plenty of days when I think this might be a gift ;)

Anyway, so bringing the funny. I had a follow-up yesterday and I have permanent loss in my right ear. Sorry, again, that wasn't the funny part. Here it comes...

Dr.: So, you've never had a shotgun go off next to that ear, or you know, like done any shooting range or rifelry stuffs?

Me: (trying not to laugh) Um, no.

Dr.: And you've never had directed radiation or chemotherapy on that ear?

Me: (trying harder) No.

Dr.: Are you sure?

Me: (failing) Yes, I'm pretty sure...

Me Wanting To Say: Oh, I almost forgot the time that I had a shotgun go off in my ear while getting radiation for the cancer I forgot I had.

I mean, really, who would forget ANY of those things?? Maybe it was the skepticism in his face when he asked if I was sure? Maybe it's the odd combination of cancer and guns? Or me wondering which of those he thought would be more forgettable? Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and have a warped sense of humor? This exchange has had me laughing for two days.