Tuesday, March 03, 2009

A Shotgun Blast? A Rifle Range? Are You Sure?

Ok, so I really wasn't going to blog on this, but I keep making myself laugh about it so dammit I have to!

So this isn't the funny part, just background. I've been having issues with my hearing for the past few years. I'd just wake up one day totally or partially deaf in my right ear. When it was partially deaf, that was irritating because I'd still hear certain frequencies super loud, but voices soft (like at the grocery store, the cooler whurring would be deafening but the checkout lady inaudible). When it was totally out, well, it was a bummer not to be able to use my blue tooth, but other than that it didn't bother me too much. Then about a year ago the ringing started. Well that bothered the SHIT out of me and kept me up at night. Which, you know since I have nothing to do all day, was no big deal. RIGHT. So in to the Dr. I went. And after a battery, and I mean a battery, of tests, the consensus is Minears disease. The Dr. happily used the words "slow progressing" and "mild" so that's all good, and really if I had to face the possibility of losing one of my senses, that would be the one. I mean, smell, taste, vision, all way more important if you ask me. So don't you cry for me Argentina because with this crew there are plenty of days when I think this might be a gift ;)

Anyway, so bringing the funny. I had a follow-up yesterday and I have permanent loss in my right ear. Sorry, again, that wasn't the funny part. Here it comes...

Dr.: So, you've never had a shotgun go off next to that ear, or you know, like done any shooting range or rifelry stuffs?

Me: (trying not to laugh) Um, no.

Dr.: And you've never had directed radiation or chemotherapy on that ear?

Me: (trying harder) No.

Dr.: Are you sure?

Me: (failing) Yes, I'm pretty sure...

Me Wanting To Say: Oh, I almost forgot the time that I had a shotgun go off in my ear while getting radiation for the cancer I forgot I had.

I mean, really, who would forget ANY of those things?? Maybe it was the skepticism in his face when he asked if I was sure? Maybe it's the odd combination of cancer and guns? Or me wondering which of those he thought would be more forgettable? Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and have a warped sense of humor? This exchange has had me laughing for two days.

1 comment:

Katie Schwab said...

Maggie---I can say, as a physician, there are groups of questions that I ask so many times that they come out of my mouth without conscious thought. However, when someone answers expectedly, "Are you sure." is not my retort.
This exchange is absolutely hysterical.

Although, I am sorry that you are losing some of your hearing. Fin "the jabberer" may have to start speaking up more. :)