Thursday, October 23, 2008

Supernanny HELP!

It was bound to happen at some point, but I really thought it would take longer. Today, I got called in to talk to the teacher.

It seems that Fin decided to throw a bunch of blocks. Which wasn't so much the issue as he then REFUSED to pick them up. Even with the threat of not being allowed to participate in show and tell. And he had a GOOD show and tell. But still, there would be no picking up the blocks. So I was called in so that the teacher could explain to me why Fin wasn't allowed to do show and tell. And as I sat there, shell shocked and embarrassed (did I mention the two other mothers waiting behind me to talk to the teacher and also the mother I know who volunteered today and I'm sure saw the whole thing), I listened to his teacher telling him - in a voice that can only exist in a woman who is a preschool teacher - that we don't throw toys on the floor because then they'll break and no one will be able to play with them. And then we left.

So the whole way to the car I'm telling Fin how much trouble he's in while in my head congratulating myself that he didn't throw them AT anyone, and also wondering if "they could have broken" is really a good argument for not throwing blocks. I mean, I haven't ever seen the blocks, but I'm pretty sure they're not made of glass...

Being that I don't have Supernanny on speed dial (yet), I got in the car and called my mom.

"Did you ask the teacher what you should do?"

Uh, no, I got the hell out of there so I could beat my kid in the privacy of my own car!

"No, I was too thrown to do anything other than nod."

She gave me several suggestions when we got home I gave Fin a long lecture incorporating all of them:
1) School is a privilege, not a right
2) School is your Job right now (which seemed a little bit contradictory per #1, but I'm all about covering my bases)
3) If you're bad, you won't be able to go back to school, won't you be sad/miss your friends/miss learning etc.
4) Your father is going to be disappointed in you when he gets home
5) No play date this afternoon (there wasn't one anyway, but man did I ham up how fantastic that imaginary play date would have been!)
Then I told him he had to stay in his room to think about his behavior.

When I came to check on him ten minutes later, he was asleep. Not that it matters much though since I swear that kid could stay in his room for days and not care. He has no toys in his room, but is totally content to play and have a conversation with HIS BEDDING.

Post - nap things went pretty smoothly, but I'm still at a total loss on how to discipline this child. The only thing that I know really really works is taking him out of the situation. When we leave a play date early, man he knows he was bad. I even thought about creating an afternoon play date just so I could take him to it, let him see it, and then leave. That seemed a little too mean.

As my mom pointed out - it something with every kid. They're not learning like they should, they have socialization issues, they're a bully or being bullied...they throw blocks and then refuse to pick them up. I'd be a total liar if I said I didn't know that the latter would be our challenge with Fin. I'd also be a liar if said I'd take a different issue over the one we have.

But how do I get him to behave better - at least while he's at school?

On the bright side, at least I don't have to think of something new for show and tell next week.


Sister Janet M. Purcell, IHM said...

Well Maggie for sure Finn is a real boy! Be pateint and keep being the good parents that you both are. He seems to be a regular boy since he lets you think nothing matters regarding the punishment. Boys excell in this.
Aunt Janet

Shosh said...

He sounds like a normal boy. Unless things like this happen every single day (which I dont know since I just found your blog and have only read this post) i would just say, he had a bad day.
Besides for that, i dont have any pearls of wisdom for you, as I have my own two little boys who regularly dont listen to me without the threat of punishment. I guess just consistency. following through on threats, and praying that one day they'll turn out to be normal adults!?!?!